Empty Nothings "State of Mind" (Un-editted version)

I was a soul that had a whole of empty nothings...My life was a knitted mixture of experience...hatred, love, lust and all the forsaken.....all in all..... "empty nothings". A mask worn to cover a lonely, damaged soul! As days went by i mastered the skill of masking.....put on a brave front, when in fact the back was as of broken bottles. I was never born a child, but a man, and a childhood to me would be like trying to saying a pig could fly.

I walked a rough road, crawled though dark valleys and almost drowned in a sea of despair....I drank my innocense away and my dignity with it all in a go....At this stage, i was so pissed at the creator, that out of all of the souls he could toy with, he chose me. I hated the fact that i was alone and forced to be grown.....My shit went so deep to a point of helplessness. I cried my grown man to sleep and drugged myself to kill....

I guess i felt empty nothings....but if not for a praying nanny, i would have ended. A prayer a day keeps the devil away, i would say......Upon such a sincere prayer, i guess heaven opened up its doors and iaded my rescue from myself....i am ok...now upon realization, that experience can be challenging, it may be used to fill in empty gaps. But however one chooses to view traumatic experiences, be assured there are two sides to all.....either usage for saving and aiding another or the utter destruction of a gone soul.

I chose to live, i chose to love, i chose life because i know what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. With the words of the wise, i've filled those empty nothings with the deepest understanding- to continue lifes journey with your head held up, knowing god gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers.

(This was written by one of my participants at a Suicide Prevention Workshop, Mo, a powerful young man who is an inspiration and a true leader)